I am here...are you there?
Well week 3 begins for me...I can say this much. Academically, It is going well. Socially, not nearly as well. I am not liked here. Oh well, that's nothing new. I wish that there were people to talk to online or by phone, anything! But nothing yet.
It is very tiring. No one here, no one to talk to. Being shunned and hated by almost everyone. Luckily however there are a few who are online from time to time that have time to talk to a far off college student, and it means a world of difference.
I didn't think that college would affect me that much. I was wrong. I thought that I could make it socially, again I was wrong. It's hard. I have some pictures with my friends and I...but I don't put them up. Mainly because I can't stand to look at their happy smiling faces. My English Professor asked if we ever had the ( Iforget the name) Letters or friendships. The kind where people say. "We'll be friends forever." or the like. I of course raised my hand. he said put them down. He then asked, if anyone has suffered that, not being true. Again, I raised my hand.
Now, I am relying on pure determination to finish, and God's help. That is all I can rely on.
Now, people mentioned the song from the last post. Well, it is a song I like, one. Two is that is is where I find myself, in proportion with the friend's I have/had.
People even PROMISED they would call, email, or write. Nothing yet, and I am coming to the half way mark. It is very discouraging. But I am stubborn, and you'll have to tie my in a sack to stop me. Anyhow, the song is beautiful. Written by Elton Jon, I might add.
In a world where a single word from a friend, makes the biggest difference, anything makes me ecstatic. But yeah...that is that.
Well, I must go to ENG101. Bye to anybody that reads this...
It is very tiring. No one here, no one to talk to. Being shunned and hated by almost everyone. Luckily however there are a few who are online from time to time that have time to talk to a far off college student, and it means a world of difference.
I didn't think that college would affect me that much. I was wrong. I thought that I could make it socially, again I was wrong. It's hard. I have some pictures with my friends and I...but I don't put them up. Mainly because I can't stand to look at their happy smiling faces. My English Professor asked if we ever had the ( Iforget the name) Letters or friendships. The kind where people say. "We'll be friends forever." or the like. I of course raised my hand. he said put them down. He then asked, if anyone has suffered that, not being true. Again, I raised my hand.
Now, I am relying on pure determination to finish, and God's help. That is all I can rely on.
Now, people mentioned the song from the last post. Well, it is a song I like, one. Two is that is is where I find myself, in proportion with the friend's I have/had.
People even PROMISED they would call, email, or write. Nothing yet, and I am coming to the half way mark. It is very discouraging. But I am stubborn, and you'll have to tie my in a sack to stop me. Anyhow, the song is beautiful. Written by Elton Jon, I might add.
In a world where a single word from a friend, makes the biggest difference, anything makes me ecstatic. But yeah...that is that.
Well, I must go to ENG101. Bye to anybody that reads this...
posted by Aielunknown at 12:05 PM
7 Comments:
I erase comments because the are anonymous. Make yourself known, and they can stay.
Admin.
So...have your classes officially begun? I feel kinda dumb. I thought this was just orientation, but it sounds like real college has really started! Wowzer to that, dude.
B, it's not a little thing to go away to college. It really isn't. And, the truth is, for some people out of sight means out of mind---NOT because they don't care, but because their own life is so demanding. It doesn't make it ANY easier for you. However, I predict your social life there will pick-up and people you left behind will eventually start looking around and saying, "Hmmmm....someone's missing. Things just aren't the same anymore." Summer steals people's attention. You're back to books, it sounds like, but they're still out having fun and enjoying their freedom.
'Course, it is true sometimes that people aren't who you thought they were, but don't give up on them yet (not that you are). Don't let them drag you down waiting for them to be true to their word, but let live on credit for a bit.
It's not easy to be the one who left.
So, do you think there are particular reasons why people have sort of closed you off? Are people in partying, or being stupid? Are there attitude differences? Or, do you not really know why? Just curious...
They hate me because I am "creepy"
So, they need to find out what you're really like. Just come out of your shell a little. Give them a chance to get to know you. You are much more than just "creepy." There's a lot more to you.
Heck no. This IS me. I am a reserved person, I am not a social butterfly nor will I ever be. Say that I am playing the martyr if you wish. But it is who I am. I am quiet, I am slow, I am silent.
And that is the way I choose to stay whether they like it or not.
Being reserved, quiet, slow, silent doesn't mean you can't be friendly. I don't think your temperament makes you a martyr, either.
You do seem awfully proud of yourself for being anti-social, though, and I think that's too bad. Everyone needs people in their lives, but in order to have people in our lives we have to be willing to give a little, reach out.
In your post, you don't make it sound like you're content with your social life right now. That's the only reason I said what I did.
I guess I misunderstood. I guess you were actually saying, "I'm not liked here, and I like it that way. I like being shunned and hated. I don't want anyone to like me."
The thing is, that doesn't jive with God. That attitude isn't consistent with the Word of God and how He tells us to live and interact with others.
SO, that's why I assumed you didn't mean it was the way you wanted it to be, because I know obeying God's Word is so important to you.
However, I also know you are a very deep and complex person. I can't possibly understand all the subtleties of what you were saying.
So, no offense intended. I alway hope the best for you and keep you in prayer.
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