The Cold, Blue-eyed Outcast...
Well, it has been over a week since coming to Norwich. I have seen things. Things that you don't notice when you are at home and close to everyone. But that is for later.
Once again, I have become the outcast of the group, (No surprise there...) How do I know this? I am not allowed in the room where everyone congregates at night, I am excluded from talks, and the like. However, I am not totally alone. Me amigo from Portugal, stays near me. He isn't really an outcast though. Everybody likes him.
Today, I had enough of the gigantic "click" that has formed. I can't stand them. So, I went for a walk around the campus, alone. It was just what I needed. I am going to go on a walk everyday. It is very relaxing. However, I am going to include a new element to the walk.
The Braveheart Dash. On campus that is a steep hill in a very remote corner. One day, during a PT session, Our Staff Sergent said that we would come to hate this hill. Why you may ask? Because, It represents any obstacle in our way. When we feel upset, sad, angry, or any other emotion, go to the hill, and run up it, then jump over the chest high fence.
We call it the Braveheart Dash, because when you run up it, you yell like furies.
I am going to start doing that...everyday. Mainly because of the frustration that builds up.
I just saw a video that followed 4 rooks during Rook Week all the way to Recognition. It is going to be Hell on earth. I will be reduced to nothing, then rebuilt. It will be a painful process, but I am ready. I have to be ready, or I won't make it.
No letters yet...maybe later in the week. Well, this is my entry for the day...
But one last thing before I go...
"If you always do what you did, then you'll always be who you always were."
Remember that.
Once again, I have become the outcast of the group, (No surprise there...) How do I know this? I am not allowed in the room where everyone congregates at night, I am excluded from talks, and the like. However, I am not totally alone. Me amigo from Portugal, stays near me. He isn't really an outcast though. Everybody likes him.
Today, I had enough of the gigantic "click" that has formed. I can't stand them. So, I went for a walk around the campus, alone. It was just what I needed. I am going to go on a walk everyday. It is very relaxing. However, I am going to include a new element to the walk.
The Braveheart Dash. On campus that is a steep hill in a very remote corner. One day, during a PT session, Our Staff Sergent said that we would come to hate this hill. Why you may ask? Because, It represents any obstacle in our way. When we feel upset, sad, angry, or any other emotion, go to the hill, and run up it, then jump over the chest high fence.
We call it the Braveheart Dash, because when you run up it, you yell like furies.
I am going to start doing that...everyday. Mainly because of the frustration that builds up.
I just saw a video that followed 4 rooks during Rook Week all the way to Recognition. It is going to be Hell on earth. I will be reduced to nothing, then rebuilt. It will be a painful process, but I am ready. I have to be ready, or I won't make it.
No letters yet...maybe later in the week. Well, this is my entry for the day...
But one last thing before I go...
"If you always do what you did, then you'll always be who you always were."
Remember that.
posted by Aielunknown at 10:09 PM
6 Comments:
But hey - you're our favorite blue eyed outcast. And it stinks to be them. Hmph.
I'll be sending actual letter like thing's once I'm home in NH. Till then you'll have to be somewhat content with comments and emails.
I like the ending quote. It's very true. I'm going to remember it an take it to heart, because it resonates with what's going on with my own life right now.
Miss you.
What is Caledonia? Is it from a play?
Sounds like things are really intense, and definitely testing you. However, you seem eager to be tested.
Why aren't you allowed in that room? That's sounds strange and wrong. Is it like a hazing thing?
Here's another good quote, which might apply:
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer." Henry David Thoreau
I like the quote- and Mrs. G's counter-quote.
Whatever they are talking about probably isn't even worth it.
I encourage you to dig deeper into God at these times, honestly.
Caledonia is the name the Romans used for Scotland back during the days of the Roman Empire.
Miss Gail had an excellent suggestion for you! And, I bet she's totally right that what they're talking about isn't worth the hearing.
You're experiencing a lot of change right now, Brad. Give yourself time to settle in to this new world, to find your place, to work things out.
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